Helping Families for 25+ Years

Common Divorce Myths Explained

We have all been exposed to various stories of divorce, some of which ended well or in disaster. There is so much information that it can sometimes be difficult to separate fact from fiction. The truth is every divorce is different and no two situations are exactly alike, so you cannot expect your own divorce to follow any of the accounts you have heard. Take some time to debunk and dispel some of the most common myths to allow yourself a more accurate picture of what to expect.

  1. Adultery will cost you everything: Many often believe if one spouse has an affair, the other can take them for all they are worth in a divorce. You lose the car, the kids, the house, and end up with nothing. This might work fine for a television drama, but it is not how things work in real life. While infidelity might ruin your marriage, it is not likely to influence your divorce settlement. California is a no-fault divorce state, which means blame is not assigned for the failure of a marriage, unless the adultery negatively impacted your finances.
  2. You have to divorce where you got married: The law understands that people cannot always stay in one place and does not expect spouses to divorce in the same state where they married. However, you must meet some residency requirements, which can vary from state to state and sometimes from county to county.
  3. Mothers always get custody of the children: This was true for many years, but is no longer the case. Courts no longer have an automatic bias that favors the mother. Instead, they align themselves with the best interests of the child, which usually means the involvement of both parents. If shared custody is not possible, the decision will be based on the parent who is most fit rather than on gender.
  4. Divorces generally go to trial: This is another one for the silver screen. Watching a nasty divorce unfold in the courtroom is entertaining on film, but does not happen often in the real world. More often than not, couples are able to resolve their issues through processes like mediation, arbitration, or collaborative divorce, where they can hash out the important issues with the help of a neutral third-party. That does not mean trials never happen. They do, but they are simply not as common, drawn-out, or dramatic as many might think.
  5. Having children prevents divorce: It is a common mistake to think that a troubled marriage might benefit from adding children to the mix. Spouses might try to stay together for the kids, but if a marriage is ultimately not working out, nothing can prevent it from unraveling. Children should never be used as pawns in a failing marriage.
  6. Your spouse has to agree to the divorce: If one spouse wants a divorce, the other cannot stop him or her. It might make the process take a bit longer and involve more hoop jumping, but no one can force another person to remain in a marriage. If your spouse does not respond within a specified timeframe, you can file a motion for default, which essentially allows you to end the marriage on your terms in the absence of your spouse’s objections.
  7. Your second marriage will be better: Many second marriages do well, but statistically speaking, the more times you marry, the higher the likelihood of divorce. You might have learned some lessons in your first marriage, but it does not mean the more marriages you have, the better the next one will go.

Experienced Rocklin Divorce Lawyers

Moving forward with divorce is a difficult decision, emotionally and financially. At Myers Family Law, our trusted legal counselors specifically handle family law and divorce matters. Our Rocklin divorce lawyers have over 25 years of family law and legal experience, which we will dedicate to you. It is our mission to help bridge the gap between complicated the complicated legal process and helping your family move forward to a better and more peaceful future.

We understand that family law issues are highly sensitive and emotional legal matters, which is why we pride ourselves on delivering not only skilled, but compassionate legal counsel for every client we serve. Get the legal guidance you deserve today.

Call us at (916) 634-0067 to request your initial consultation to speak with us confidentially. You should not have to go through this alone.