Once you make the decision to move forward with your divorce, you will have to inform your children of this major life change, which might very well be the most difficult conversation you will ever experience. Your children might have already sensed the tension, overheard some of your fights, but actually breaking the news to them is an entirely different thing and you must be prepared for the impending reactions you will receive. This conversation will not be pleasant, but you can reduce the emotional blow by being prepared and united in your approach.
Here are some tips to help set you on the right path:
- Be a Team: You are no longer partners in marriage, but you are still partners in parenting and should speak with your children together. Now is not the time to play the blame game or exhibit any bitterness. Remember, this conversation is for your children and should not be about your or the issues between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. When your children see that you are able to cooperate, it will provide some reassurance that while you might be divorcing, you are both still there for them.
- Address the Whole Family: Instead of speaking to each child individually, it is best to address the whole family at once. You can follow up with each child individually later on to discuss any concerns he or she might have or to answer any questions. If there is a large age gap between children, or you are particularly worried about how one of them might handle the news, you can break it to them separately.
- Have a Plan: This is an important conversation, so do not try to wing it or improvise. Plan what you are going to say, try to anticipate what some of their questions might be, and think of how you might answer them. You should also plan on emphasizing certain key messages, such as:
- Letting them know you tried to work things out
- Reinforce the fact that you both still love them and you will continue to be there for them
- Make sure they understand the divorce is not their fault
4.Be Prepared for Different Reactions: Children are unique individuals, so you cannot expect them to all have the same reaction. There might be tears, anger, or they might simply be concerned if they have to switch schools or sports teams. Be prepared for anything, know when to give them space, and when to give them the reassuring hugs they might need.
5.Be Ready to Answer Questions: Your children are going to have a lot of questions, so you need to be open to answering them. You should also plan your conversation accordingly. Discussing your impending divorce with them prior to bedtime or before you drop them off at school robs them of their opportunity to ask questions, so plan to have this talk with them at a time that leaves room for any questions they might have. You and your ex should also be open to questions that might arise later on. Be as honest as you can with them and always be available to support them through this tough time.
Experienced Rocklin Divorce Lawyers
Divorce is never easy for anyone, particularly for children who often have a hard time coping with this major life change. As the divorce proceedings move forward, you will have to make difficult decisions regarding your family, your property, your assets, and everything in between. At Myers Family Law, we have over 25 years of combined legal experience in various levels of court and mediation, and provide cost-conscious solutions to help you resolve these sensitive issues and protect your interest for the long-term. Additionally, we are one of the few law firms capable of providing assistance with preparing a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (Division of Retirement).
As trusted legal counselors who specifically handle family law and divorce matters, our experienced Rocklin divorce attorneys possess the skill, insight, and knowledge necessary to help clients and their families navigate the complexities of divorce and other family-related legal disputes. Our goal is to provide compassionate legal counsel to help you achieve the peaceful and happy future you and your family deserves. You should not have to endure this alone and risk making potentially costly mistakes.
Contact our office today at (916) 634-0067 to schedule a consultation with one of the experienced members of our legal team.